How to Choose a Life Partner: Tips for a Relationship Built on Purpose and Respect

No Such Thing as the “Right Person”

Let’s get one thing straight: there is no such thing as a right or wrong person. We all have good sides and bad sides, strengths and weaknesses, which we show in different situations. So, you shouldn’t just sit and wait for the perfect person. There is no perfect person in the world, and even if you keep waiting, who guarantees that you will find this ideal partner? It can actually happen the opposite way—you might end up settling for someone worse for you out of desperation.

On the other hand, you shouldn’t rush to find a partner either. Rushing can harm you badly and ruin the relationship. So, you need to find a balance; you can’t rush, and you can’t keep delaying for the perfect person.

Now, you might be confused and wondering what the solution is. What should you actually do?

Don’t worry, this article is here to solve your problem and answer your question. How can you find someone with whom you can spend the rest of your life? After reading this article, if you find such a person, propose. If you can’t find one, wait until you do.

Empty Your Mind

Everyone, especially women, often has a prince charming in their mind. They dream that a good-looking partner will come and marry them, love them, and care for them forever. But the truth is these are only dreams. Now it’s time to wake up. Take out all these expectations from your mind; these expectations make you start judging people for unnecessary reasons. For example, you might decide that you want a partner who is taller than you, good-looking, or rich, so even if someone with an angelic character comes to you, you might reject them because your mind was dreaming of someone else. That rejection is unnecessary, and all unnecessary rejections can lead to bad karma. That is why you must make yourself empty. When you make yourself empty, you can easily search for someone who is good for your here and hereafter.

Be Prepared for a Relationship

In life, we meet different people and make friends. Sometimes, people express interest in us, and we might feel the same way. However, simply liking someone shouldn’t be the only factor in deciding if they are suitable for you. Before finding a life partner, ask yourself if you’re ready for a relationship. What does it mean to be ready for a relationship?

A relationship shouldn’t be for just one night, right? We are talking about a relationship that lasts a lifetime. This means we need a person with whom we can spend the rest of our life until death. This is not an ordinary thing; it’s a huge thing. A huge decision. A huge responsibility. Are you ready to take this on? When a person comes into your life, you need to love, care, sacrifice, and also ensure you both reach paradise. This is harder and more difficult than all other challenges in your life. So, being ready is very important. Ask yourself, are you ready to give love? Are you ready to sacrifice? Are you ready to help the person reach paradise? Are you ready to stand with your partner and preach the truth? Are you ready to smile and cry together? If all these come as yes, then go for it. Congratulations.

Find Out Your Purpose in Life

Do you know the quote: “A good dance performance only happens with a good dance partner.”

If you go to dance with someone who can’t dance or doesn’t like to dance, then obviously it will ruin your dance. That is why in life, we need to understand our purpose first and then search for someone who has the same purpose. That should be the first criterion to find the right person for you. Remember, you’re going to live with this person forever, so beauty, color, or country won’t matter in the long run. All will fade away in the first few years of the relationship. Then character and the purpose of your partner’s life will become important. The love will be important. If your purpose in life differs from your partner’s, then clashes can happen, which can most likely lead to heartbreaks and breakups.

Ask yourself, what is your purpose in life? Why are you here on this earth? If you believe in God, then why did God send you? Ask yourself. You need to understand your purpose first, then only can you search for it in others.

Unfortunately, these days, we don’t even know or try to know why we are here. We ignore this question and do what our heart says without thinking. That is sad. Obviously, we didn’t come here without any reason. We came for a reason. What is it? Ask yourself. If you don’t have answer, ask people you trust, ask life coaches, ask me. Maybe you are just lost and now you need to search about it, you need to find it out first.

Let me make things easy for you: you are definitely not on this earth just to eat, sleep, watch movies, and die, or just to sleep with many people, travel, and enjoy life. We are human beings; we have uniqueness. We are not like animals; we have unique talents. All these capabilities that we have are not given to us without any reason. They all have a reason. It is time for you to search and find out the reasons.

For me, I found my purpose when I started believing in God. When I believed in God, it meant I believed God made me. So, when God made me, then He is the only one who can tell me why He made me. And He answered. He said He made us to worship Him, to spread peace on earth, to heal others, to give love ,to be thankful to Him, to take less and give more. All these things are part of worshipping Him. So, my purpose is set. Hopefully, your purpose will be set too.

When your purpose is set, then the first thing you look for in a person is that they have the same purpose. For example, if my purpose in life is to worship God and do things to make Him happy, then obviously I should find someone who has the same goal. Then life will be easy. She can help me go forward in my purpose, and I can help her go forward in her purpose. When the purpose is the same, helping each other becomes easy, and life becomes a little less hectic.

Be Open

When your purpose is set, then be open to everyone. Let anyone come into your life. Don’t judge people based on country or color. If you do, then you are going against nature; you are racist, and a racist soul can’t survive in a relationship for the long run. To get out of this discrimination, you need to understand your purpose and focus on it.

Just imagine you are the captain of a football team. Your purpose is to make a football team for the next season. When your purpose is set, now you don’t care which person is white, black, or gray, or which person is from where. You care about who is good at playing football. Whoever is good, you want them on your team, right? So, if your purpose is to satisfy God or go to paradise, then country and looks shouldn’t matter. What should matter is if someone can help you satisfy God and give you love and respect. If they can, then now it is easy for you to choose. But still you need to observe some other things.

Observation Time:

When the purpose is same then you can give the person come to your life but then it is observation time. You need to keep your eyes and observe.

1. Behavior in Different Situations: See how they behave in different situations and how they react. For example, when you are at a restaurant with someone you like, pay attention to how they talk to you. Are they genuine and honest, or do they only say positive things? Do they only pamper you? See how their body movements, do they try to force you on something? or Do they praise themselves a lot and seem self-obsessed? People who are self-obsessed only think about themselves, so it’s a red flag.
   
2. Treatment of Others: Pay attention to how they treat others, such as waiters or cleaners, and observe their reactions toward animals on the street. If they treat them badly, it’s a clear sign to say no. These indirect signs are important to consider. Sometimes, during a date, we get carried away by the excitement and forget about what truly matters. We become so focused on the butterfly feelings that we overlook the essential aspects of a person. So, remember to stay calm and composed. Instead of focusing on their words, pay attention to their actions.
   
3. Interaction with Family: Observe how they interact with their family when they receive a phone call while talking to you. This observation can be helpful. For example, if someone talks rudely to their family, it indicates how they may treat you in the future when other things become more important than you. Pay attention to these little things. The problem arises when we only focus on looks and appearances. Looks and appearances alone can’t give you a peaceful life if the person’s character is rude and wrong.

If the person passes all these three tests, don’t stop there. They might have read this article and acted better, but continue testing them for a few more days, months, or meetings. People can pretend for a short time, but eventually, their true selves will show. So keep observing.

Evaluate Their Impact on Your Life

Observe if the person helps you grow in life when you spend time together. Are you learning new things from them? Do they encourage you to be a better person? Time is precious, and once it’s gone, you can’t get it back. So, judge who makes your time worthwhile. Pay attention to who you learn from and who motivates you in every conversation.

Let’s say you had a one-hour phone conversation with someone. After hanging up, take a moment to reflect. Did you gain new knowledge or insights from that person? Did they have a positive impact on your life? Did they make you more humble? Did they encourage you to become a better person? or did they make you more closer to God? It’s important to think about these things logically. This evaluation is crucial. If you find someone who not only talks to please you but also supports your growth and kindly points out your mistakes, then that person is a positive influence in your life.
Understood! Here’s the corrected version:

Remember, a person might talk to you for an hour about movies, celebrities, etc., and it can make you happy, but it doesn’t mean the person can be your life partner. Observe if the person talks about serious things. Anyone can talk about movies and sports; these are easy topics. Intellectual talks, spiritual discussions, and conversations that change lives are important. If someone focuses more on these types of talks, then it is a good sign.

Respect is Key

Another criterion is respect. Respect means dealing with your flaws in a kind way and appreciating your strengths. It means valuing your time and giving you attention. Respect also means that even when the person is busy, they still make time for you. It means accepting and supporting your decisions when you are logical, instead of denying them just because they don’t like them.

Imagine meeting your favorite celebrity, and they make a mistake. Would you yell at them in anger, or would you calmly explain what they did wrong with a smile? You would be calm because you respect them. If someone you consider your life partner can’t calmly point out your mistakes and instead yells or gets angry, it means they lack respect for you. Yelling and getting angry with the person you love, without thinking about how much they are hurt, shows a lack of respect. It’s a big no-no.

Observe if the Person is Changing From Their Purpose

Remember, some people might show you that they have the same purpose as yours but it can be a lie or they might change, so observe if they still have the same purpose or not.

If you believe in God, observe how often the person brings up God, religious topics in discussions with you. This is important. If both of you believe in God but never talk about it or make time for it, if the person doesn’t make an effort to take you closer to God, it indicates selfishness and disloyalty. If they can’t be loyal to God, if they can’t encourage you to be loyal to God, then how can they be loyal to you or anyone else?

Notice if they pray when it’s time to pray, and if they encourage you to pray as well. These are significant signs. Only talking about superficial topics like celebrities, movies, love, or the universe is not enough to make someone the right person for you. If someone claims to believe in God but never mentions it, it’s a sign of hypocrisy. When we love something, we naturally bring it up in conversations. Pay attention to this aspect; it will help you determine if they are genuine or not.

Look for Balance

Balance is important in life. See who encourages you to keep a balance. You might find someone who loves to travel, dance, and keep you excited, but if they don’t balance it with acts of charity, self-improvement, and calmness, it’s a big no-no.

As I always say, life is a journey, so you need someone who can comfort you with a calm song when needed, and also someone who can dance with you when the occasion calls for it. You need someone who can be a child with you and also can make big decisions with you. You need someone who can watch a movie with you but when it’s time, that person encourages you to pray and prays with you. You need someone who can cook for you and also be served by you. It’s all about finding a balance. Observe this balance carefully. Don’t just focus on excitement and how much fun someone brings into your life; also pay attention to how they handle the struggles of life. If they keep patience or not.

The Power of a Great Partner

When life is a journey, then in this journey we need someone who can motivate us to keep moving. If we don’t find these partners, then being alone and walking alone is better. A toxic partner can ruin their journey and yours too. So focus on the suggestions that I have given above. Follow them.

I know you might be thinking with all these qualities it would be so tough to find a person, but it is not actually. It is really hard when you are clueless about what you want and just find someone because of desire. Desire doesn’t last long. So follow these steps, mainly focus on the person who has the same purpose as you and see if the person is truly loving you and respecting you or not. If you find only these three things on someone, purpose love and respect then you can go for the person.

Remember, please do not consider country, color, or money, these things are not important at all in a relationship. A good person who loves God and gives God and nature more importance will always be blessed, so being with that person will also bring blessings in your life.

This type of relationship can make soul mates, these types of relationships create history. I hope we all get these relationships. Keep yourself open, your partner is coming.

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